The times I’ve prayed and asked for God to make me into the virtuous wife in Proverbs 31. Lord, help me to become this amazing wife and mother, full of wisdom and discretion. She works hard, doesn’t complain, but does everything in a way that honours her family and is a pillar to her community. She doesn’t rely on the help of others, but she puts her head down and gets on with it. As I stood in worship this week, praying; Lord help me to prioritise you. How do I do everything? How do I become like this amazing woman in Proverbs 31, who manages to do it all, and prioritise you in it aswell?
I’m doing my best, but sometimes I feel a little like a drowning rat, just managing to hold on to the finger of Jesus hovering above the water. How can I be a better wife, mum, daughter, daughter in law, friend, child of god and sister in christ when I feel like I’m drowning in a ‘to do’ list? Handing out a little piece of myself to everyone and everything that needs it. How then do I make sure I also find the time to fit Jesus in?
I know that we honour Him in everything we do, so even doing the washing up, in a sense is serving the family in the name of Jesus. That’s understood. However, there is something fundamentally wrong, when we start to feel that in amongst our chaotic days full of the needs of other people, that we begin to wonder, ‘How do I fit Jesus into my day?’ Doesn’t he then, just become something else we have to do? He becomes a chore and a job to get done, rather than a person who wants a relationship with us, just the same as our children and husbands do, albeit more so. The story of Mary and Martha is only a short one, but I really quite love it.
Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." - Luke 10:38-42
I sympathise with Martha, my heart actually goes out to her a little bit. Martha has willingly and lovingly welcomed Jesus into her home, considering that it was her that invited Him in, she clearly had some understanding of who He was at that time. I imagine she was busy trying to make everything nice for Him, trying to get everything done, probably cooking tea, trying to tidy up a bit and generally doing her best to serve everyone. Mary on the other hand is sat with her feet up, lapping up every word Jesus says, with no thought whatsoever for Martha. And yet it’s Martha Jesus corrects? Maybe if Mary would have helped Martha out a bit, they both could have got the work done together and then they both would have been able to sit at the feet of Jesus. But somehow, had Mary done that, and helped Martha, I tend to think that no matter how much they would have done, there always would’ve been more to do.
I’ve no doubt that when Jesus corrected Martha, she would probably have felt a bit put out, a little upset even. I’m pretty sure I would have. She was doing her best to serve everyone, including Jesus, and being told the sister sat on the floor doing nothing is the one that got it right. But serving can so easily become the distraction from the person we are intending to serve. It’s not everyday you get Jesus sat in your living room, yet the scripture says Martha was worried and troubled about many things. She had been distracted from Jesus by her heart to serve Him.
Jesus would not have cared if the house was a bit messy, He wouldn’t have worried if there was no dinner prepared, in just the chapter before the story of Mary and Martha, He had fed the 5 Thousand, He could easily have whipped up a bit of fish and bread if He wanted to. But there will always be things to do, there will always be a host of things fighting for our attention. The housework and chores of life will always be there, there will always be serving to be done and the calls for our focus will continue to try and suck the life right out of us. But when we die, Jesus won’t care how many meals we made, it won’t matter how clean our houses are, Jesus won’t care if I didn’t hoover enough, or if the washing was always on the ‘floordrobe’. But He will care if we sat at His feet or not. That will matter.
Of course we should serve, just as the virtuous wife did. It is right and biblical to serve our families, and others that are in need of our help and support, but we also need to know when to stop and to choose what is right, just as Mary did. Jesus was not criticising Martha with His correction, but instead, He was lovingly letting Martha know that He wanted them both at His feet, not just Mary.
I had a dream a year or so ago, where I was in a tent, but all of the food was in another tent, and I had to go out in the dark, cold and rain to get to the food. (The food being Jesus) But because I had to leave the comfort of my tent to get to the food in the other tent, even though I was really hungry, I didn’t go to the other tent. I stayed where I was. And God said, ‘Stop compartmentalising me’. But even now, I realise this is something I continue to do. I partition myself off, that when I get everything done, then I will spend time with Jesus. When everyone stops needing me, then I will sit with you Lord. When I’m not tired anymore, then I will sit and listen to what you are saying to me. But guess what, you will never get everything done, everyone will always need you, and I’m sorry to say it, but you will probably always be tired. But God can be in our tent with us, He does not have to be in a separate tent. In order to get through all of the strains, hardships and needs of the world, we desperately need Jesus to be in our tent with us. God lives within you, so He can hear you, whether you decide to include Him or not, so in many respects it is harder to keep Him out of our day, then to keep Him in it.
But just like when you go camping, you can hear people talking in other tents, but you are not included in the conversation, in the same way we can go about our lives, Jesus always hearing you speaking, but never being included in the conversation, always being kept separate. And us, never receiving what Jesus is wanting to speak to us, always too busy and isolated to listen.
We have an Alexa in our kitchen, every time you say ‘Alexa’, it registers that you are speaking to it. The reason it does that is because it is always listening. It is always waiting for you to speak to it. Lord help us to be more like Alexa, always listening and waiting for you to speak throughout our day. Not just at small intervals of time, when we decide on our own terms that we will include you and converse with you, But always open and ready to hear your voice.
There are times where Jesus wants and deserves our undivided attention in the prayer room, with the door closed, a time without the distractions and voices of the world, but there are also times where we can speak to Him just where we are. Martin Luther said “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer". I’m not saying that we can always do the same, but it is true, that when we make Jesus the priority, everything else is that much easier.
Nothing is really mentioned after Jesus corrects Martha, about what she did following His reply. I would like to think that she put everything down, and went and sat at His feet with Mary. But I like the fact that Martha wanted to serve as well as love her Lord, even if she did get a bit overwhelmed and side tracked by her to do list. When Jesus returns later following the death of Lazarus, Martha is the first one to go out to greet Him, and recognise Him as the Christ and Son of God. ( John 11:25-27 )
It seems to me that although Mary was indeed sat at His feet, Martha was not only the one who recognised her Lord and invited Him in, but also learned to sit at His feet, learning to pay attention when Jesus was wanting to speak with her and spend time with her. Still with a heart to serve, but understanding when serving was becoming a distraction and being able to lay it down and to choose ‘that good part’ instead. I still want to be strong and hardworking like the virtuous wife, and also like Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, But I also want to be like Martha, someone who recognises her Lord, listens when she is corrected, has a heart to serve and is willing to drop everything to run out and greet her Messiah.
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands.She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: "Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates. Prov 31:10-31
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